3 Inches of Blood - _Here Waits Thy Doom_
(Century Media, 2009)
by: Jackie Smit (
When it comes to 3 Inches of Blood, the joke grew grey hair and a Gandalf-like beard right around the recording of their first demo. Roadrunner realised this and sneakily ditched them when the marketing bluster surrounding their debut failed to translate into a commercial windfall. Now finding a label home at Century Media, _Here Waits Thy Doom_ boasts a new drummer and (very) marginally improved songwriting, but the hustle is unchanged. As was the case with _Advance & Vanquish_, they've dabbed a handful of production varnish on the same caterwauling nonsense that made Manowar a figure of fun ages ago, in the process trying their level best to convince us with an album's worth of third-rate power metal. Likewise, the record's sole subject matter remains unhealthily preoccupied with genre nuggets that only have nostalgic value because when you first heard it you were twelve years old and didn't know any better. Unsurprisingly the result is an almighty fuck-up, and I'd bet good money that anyone who chooses to indulge in this dross past the album's halfway mark, probably has at least two six-packs in them at the time.
(article published 9/24/2009)
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