14,000 Unstoppable Beards
Clutch go top 40.
by: Daniel Cairns
Well, here's a bit of news that I can't moan or be cynical about. Four middle-aged, bearded chaps from Maryland are gracing the same chart as Katy Perry and assorted other morons. And they've done it all off their own back.

Clutch, who are scientifically proven to be one of the best bands ever, went straight into the Billboard top 200 with their new record _Strange Cousins From the West_ at, wait for it... 38! The news can be found at SMN here.

That really is a triumph of good old-fashioned hard work over penis-munching record label politics. 14,000 enlightened gearheads bought the record and manned up the charts. The fact that it's on their own record label is even more fantastic, and shows that constant touring and word of mouth is still a viable way to build a career.

Well done, fellas! I advise you all pick it up, as it's a great record. I'd say it's their best since _Blast Tyrant_. We should have a review up soon (isn't that right, Jeremy? JEREMY?) as well, so all is go in the Clutch camp.

Maybe Simon Cowell will be inspired, grow a mighty beard and stop being a greedy, bullying snide cunt. But I won't hold my breath.

(article submitted 30/7/2009)

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