Lion Splicer - _Valkyrie_
by: Dan Lake (3.5 out of 5)
If an adventurous team of geneticists ever succeeds in splicing a lion with an eagle, a snake, and a human (and there's no way such an experiment could possibly fail), the world could have its first in-the-flesh sphinx. Maybe it would force the scientists to answer riddles before leaving the lab -- riddles like, "What do you get when you cross a lion with an eagle, a snake, and a human?" Until that happens, though -- or until someone blows the lid off the government cover-up that it ALREADY HAS -- we still have an answer to, "What do you get when you splice punk sneer with loud blues rock and a pretty fucking weird band name?" Enter the Lion Splicer with their hot-off-the-filesharing-service _Valkyrie_ EP.

NY bros Max and Danny wail through less than 13 minutes of music here, though only three minutes and thirty seconds of it is new LS. The title track (which gives our valkyrie the name Beatrix) funks in with a sample of womanly attitude whose source I'm now dying to find; the song itself crashes about with stage-demolishing abandon, cramming healthy punk up against a third-rail-hot bass line for maximum loudspeaker destruction. "Train Kept a Rollin" follows it up with some finger-scorching Southern fire, with Saman Rouhani on bubbling-caramel-colored guest vox. Lion Splicer wrap with a louder version of the finale from last year's _Slicer_, called "Sector 7" (this one subtitled "Return to Reactor"). The sound all over this EP outstrips the older recording, though the intent is largely the same: find something heavy and expensive, then kick it hard with your toe until one of them breaks. There's not an abundance of material here, but it's probably enough for those geneticists to let off some steam after they screw the pooch and end up with a roaring sneagman instead of the riddling sphinx we were promised. (Government cover-up!)


(article published 3/6/2012)

12/8/2011 D Lake 3.5 Lion Splicer - Slicer
RSS Feed RSS   Facebook Facebook   Twitter Twitter  ::  Mobile : Text  ::  HTML : CSS  ::  Sitemap

All contents copyright 1995-2024 their individual creators.  All rights reserved.  Do not reproduce without permission.

All opinions expressed in Chronicles of Chaos are opinions held at the time of writing by the individuals expressing them.
They do not necessarily reflect the opinions of anyone else, past or present.