Human Improvement Process - _S.T.A.R.S._
(The Execution Kollective, 2011)
by: Dan Lake (4 out of 10)
Execute the following process for holistic, non-reversible human improvement:

1. Implant DEF (Deep Electro-Funk) transmitters directly into the auditory neural circuitry. Test connection and reception strength with seriously groovy DEF transmission.

2. Install OVPs (Oscillating Vocal Processors) at the base of the throat and set the following PUFs (Probabilistic Utterance Frequencies): 43% pitched-down guttural growling, 27% verse-capping shrieks, 18% coarse but discernible yelling, 12% earnest full-voiced singing.

3. CAUTION: Absolutely do not under any circumstances destroy or erase anything. The last improvement attempt to utilize these methods spiked the subjects' brain activity to levels that made subjugation impractical and resulted in the loss of nearly a generation's worth of assets.

4. Run DBN (Deathcore By Numbers) program with CTC (Conspicuous Time Changes) patch. Remember, this program was heuristically perfected by scanning as much middle-grade deathcore as could be retrieved after the humans' misguided MCD (Massive Core Dump) of 2012, and will heretofore be the standard improvement formula administered to all new assets.

5. Employ periodic maintenance tests on all hardware (DEF, OVP) and software (PUF, DBN) systems. Proactive monitoring behavior serves to minimize transmission error, and it reminds those carbon-based bastards who's really in charge now.

6. NOTE: Occasionally a chance interaction between the DEF transmitter and the CTC patch causes the DBN to experience slow-downs. The BPS may suffer temporarily, but these moments of decreased hyperactivity are normal and (unexpectedly) required for humans to fully assimilate the program.

Do not deviate from the above steps or you will be... improved.


(article published 19/4/2011)

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